Oh my gosh I am a slacker!

Well the end of the month is here and I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off getting ready for the trip. Toooooootally forgot to do this. So we shall play catch up .*yet again*
Day 24- Most Embarrassing moment. Yeah, so not going into detail here. It was high school and I was caught unaware by a certain lady friend.
Day 25- Describe my location. I am in my dining room/living room area. I am sitting at the computer desk. To my left, you will see my whiteboard/cork board where I write down things so I can promptly forget about them, and hang up business cards. To my right, there is a dining room table which I kind of despise. I am waiting for my husband to refinish it. Beside that is a giant block castle, seriously the blocks are as big as my head. Behind me is a book shelf which I used to keep organized and pretty. All of the pooh books with the pooh books (the spines make a picture if you line them up right) and the other books arranged by size. Now I just want them on the shelf because Munchkins favorite thing in the world is to knock all of the books off the bookshelf, sit down and look at the books. On the wall is the TV, it is mounted because I am paranoid. If that thing fell on the kids, it would kill them, so all tvs in the house get mounted. Underneath it is a entertainment center that is not being used as an entertainment center really. It holds the DVR and the internet router. The cabinets hold toys/weird knick knacks the kids decide to put in there. To the left of that is a shoe shelf thing and on the wall are hooks for coats and hats. Then the other part of the room holds the couch. There you have my living room/dining room area. Unless you were asking about my town, in which case the answer is far more simple. I can describe it in one word, white. You look out the door and all you see is SNOW. Stupid stupid snow.
Day 26- Favorite food- Red potatoes with my veggie seasoning. I could eat that everyday for the rest of my life and never ever get sick of them.
Day 27- 3 online friends I've never met in real life.... Kelly, Lexie and Monica.
Day 28- Guilty pleasure, this would have to be Wendys. I am a HUGE sucker for Wendys. Anytime I am chilling in front of the TV watching Supernatural I see Dean eating and I am like omg, I need a cheeseburger loaded with bacon. It is a TERRIBLE habit haha.
Day 29- Favorite time of year and why? This would have to be Spring. I love the cool heat, and the smell of new grass. Light rain, and waking up to the smell of morning dew is amazing. I love the green everything, the trees are blooming, the flowers are coming in, it is just beautiful!
Day 30- Favorite ice cream? Cookies and Creme hands down :)
Day 31- Self Portrait and what I liked most about this challenge.

WahLah. Took this today because of my newly dyed hair :)

What I learned doing this challenge is I suck at sticking to a schedule for myself.What I liked about this was it gave me something more to blog about. I love writing, but sometimes I have no idea what to share on here.

In my heart of hearts, I believe....

Today and yesterday the arguments began on DOMA. I sincerely hope that it never has to be debated again. I truly feel in my heart of hearts that people deserve to be married to who they love. Why would I not? I honestly am shocked when I see someone who is against gay marriage. I do not understand it, at all. It is WRONG to think that your beliefs should stop someones happiness. If you are against gay marriage, fine. But know that you are wrong. If you do not like gay marriage, do not marry someone of the same sex. It has always been my belief that no matter what I believe, I should not impose those beliefs on to another and affect their personal life. You want to marry your same sex partner? Awesome, that is beautiful. You want to practice Christianity or Satanism, or Buddhism? Awesome, good for you! You want to get an abortion, dye your hair pink with purple polka dots and punch a bunch of holes in your face? Great! Go for it!

You want to stop others from marrying the person they love because you do not agree with it? What gives you the right?? Why should what you believe affect someone elses marriage? And do not preach to me about the sanctity of marriage, if you are worried about the sanctity of traditional marriage, protest divorce.

60 best signs against DOMA & Prop 8

 Love is beautiful. How could anyone hate love of any caliber? 

I am not winning today

Most everyone who knows me, knows I try to be positive as much as possible. 

That being said, I miss my husband a lot. I got an amazing call tonight from him. He got to spend the day with our niece and nephew. I finally get to meet them when we go out there in two weeks. I am nervous as hell. You see my nephew is a month younger than my Munchkin. They look so much alike, it is kinda crazy.

I try my very very hardest not to compare him to other children, I really do. It was sound advice given to me by a close friends mother and I trust her. It was the very first thing she told me when she heard about the Munchkins MCHAT results after his doctor gave it to him. But I am already starting to in my head. My  nephew can talk. He can carry on a conversation. He not only speaks English, he speaks German as well. He met my husband for the first time and wanted him to pick him up within five minutes. He got excited about a passing car and yelled out its color.
At this point, I realized what I was doing, and I stopped to remind me of the stuff the Munchkin CAN do. But it is still hard, and I know seeing him in person is going to be even more trying for me. I am just jealous, and it is a stupid emotion. I am so jealous that I do not get to hear my children plotting to do something evil together, or want to make tents with each other and tell each other secrets. I am jealous that I do not get to hear my youngest say hi momma. I need to fight this jealousy monster off, but I am not winning that battle at the moment. 

My dirty little secret

I love boy bands. I love them so much. Any boy band. I do not hold a grudge against 98* because they are not N*Sync or visa versa. I love them all. Also, I love the 80s with a passion, hair bands with good music and tighter than ever clothes? Yes please. Which is why I love this video and watch it daily. Seriously, at least once a day, take those judgey stares somewhere else!

Backstreet Boys - Just want you to know

It makes me happy. Music makes me happy, and when my love for two separate music forms comes together, I am in heaven.

Now, onto my blog challenge.

March 20th, something I collect. I suppose the only thing I could classify as "collecting" is books. I have so many books. I never really understood the obsession of collecting things. My sister collects creepy dolls and rubber ducks. Her room may look awesome, but it also creeps me out slightly. At least all of my books are educational (maybe smutty...maybe) and all different. 

March 21st, biggest fear. Simply put, that I am not enough. I can not really explain it, but that is it.

March 22nd, what I do when I am home alone. Sleep or read and then sleep. No joke, I love sleep. I shamelessly tell the Monster that it is still night time and to go back to bed until I get up, which is not until the Munchkin wakes up normally. And the Munchkin loves sleeping as much as I do. I got really lucky, he does not normally fight sleep. If he gets angry, I put him down for a nap and give him his bottle, blanket and a movie and he is happy. 

March 23rd, a hobby of mine. Once again, I do not really have a hobby. I read. That is about all I really do other than play with the kids or go out for an occasional girl date with a friend. 

A letter to my psychologist, that I am giving the boot to:

Autism can be detected as early as 18 months in children, even if your personal opinion is you can not tell as "early" as two years old. Nothing a parent does, including coddling can "cause" it. A parent being with their child 24/7 is not going to slow the child's development. If anything it will speed it up. I have fought very hard to try to get my child the help he needs. When your child is 2 1/2 years old and can not talk, or even point at something. When your child has meltdowns so severe that he starts self harming because his routine has been interrupted, when your child does not know how to kick a ball, when your child gives his stuffed tigger more eye contact in one minute, than he has ever given you in his entire life it is not a good feeling for a parent. It sucks watching other children younger than yours hit milestones, because you know your child wont hit that milestone for years. I have thought it was my fault. The first two weeks after his pediatrician gave him the MCHAT and referred us to a specialist, I blamed myself, I blamed my husband, I blamed doctors, I blamed vaccines. It is no ones fault though, least of all mine. When I think of ways I could help him achieve more than he has, my only regret is not doing more. He has come as far as he has with the help of his physical therapist, an amazing pediatrician, our family and close friends, and a literal giant box full of stuffed tiggers because without tigger, he would not try nearly half the stuff he attempts. So no, he is not delayed because I coddle him. I do not need a pretentious prick to make me feel like I am ruining my childs life by being there for him. And if this was your way of trying to get me to leave the house for some 'me time' it failed miserably. And telling me that going to the Parents of Newborns club would be good for me and they could help with my questions? I know you know my children's ages, you made a big show of writing them down on your damned pad of paper, unless you are doodling instead, something I would not doubt. I sincerely hope they make you take a sensitivity class.I do not really think this is what he had in mind when he told me to write it out when I feel angry, but hey, I am doing my exercises. Plenty of deep breathing too. Here is to hoping I can find a way better therapist. 

March 19th

What blogs do I follow and why? I follow seven so far, but today only calls for five.
I follow Becca. Mostly because she and I have been friends since high school. Then she moved to California and I had my oldest, and then she moved back to Iowa and moved in with me. We were AWESOME roommates. Together we built giant blanket forts that took up two entire rooms.

We left each other fun notes. I woke up to those notes all over my mirrors one morning. We went to walmart at 2 AM to get fairy wings, white tanks and markers and in my case a purple wig. Then we colored on our shirts, donned our outfits and went to Ihop. Purple hair really is not my thing, but it was a BLAST. So when I got married and moved away since my husband is Air Force and we got stuck in ND, I only got to see her when we went back home to visit family. Then she went and got married and her husband joined the Army. So now she gets to live in Alaska, (I am completely jealous!) and I will not see her for god only knows how many years. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is gonna sneak through in July because that is when our game of tag is active. Do not ask. Yes, we shamelessly stole the idea from a yahoo news article. So until then, I stalk her blog and her facebook.....and possibly her phone.
I follow Kelly Mae. I have never met her in person, nor anyone else on my list. I love following her though because she happens to have grown up with Becca, and I was introduced via facebook. While I have never met her in person, I can confidently say, she is one of the sweetest people I know. She is a great mother, I look up to her in that sense. She gives off an image of class and having it all together, even when she admits she does not (but who does?) I know I should give some crap line about how I am the best mother ever, but the truth is I am not. I hope to be more like her actually. Which sounds kinda stalkerish crazy I suppose since I have never met her in real life. For example, she homeschools her kids, she made them a bug farm in their house and she takes her kids places often. All things I want to do, but the idea of a bug farm in my house is terrifying to me and I will not do it. My kids hardly leave my house except in the summer, when we spend our days at the lake, devoid of human contact. I want to start more playdates for the boys. Right now we have a standing playdate every Friday, and my Monster calls them his best friends. However I wonder if two friends is "enough." They are sweet boys who love to play with Monster, but I wonder if maybe he needs to interact with more than just two other kids.

The other blogs on my list, I just stalk for fun. Don't Quote The Raven is an amazing very truthful hilarious blog. I love reading what she has to say because much of what she says regarding her two boys, I feel the same about. From her love of Britney, to her love of sleep, I can say we have a lot of similarities. Including the names of one of our boys. Crazyyyyy. I love how in your face, this is how I am and I am not afraid to tell the world that I sleep in until 10 and tell my kids to go back to sleep until then, she is. Then there is My Beautiful Crazy Amazing Life. I found her through the Military SO's Blogging Community. ----> that star button over there. She has a son, and another one on the way, and I have only recently found her, but I like what I have read so far. They are stationed in Korea, and just seem very fun. Fifth on my list is Handling With Grace. She is another military spouse, with two kids. Her second was actually just born on the 15th. Reading her blog has made me reminisce about pregnancy. (then I get off the computer and I think about how glad I am that I can not get pregnant anymore haha)

Check them all out, they are fantastic women!

This little boy...

misses his daddy very much.

We got a 45 minute FaceTime date last night and 30 of those minutes, the Monster had the phone <3 The other 15, he was telling me that I needed to shhhhh so that he could tell daddy something he forgot! He may seem like a mommas boy, but as soon as Daddy is gone, it is very apparent how big of a daddys boy these boys are.