A letter to my psychologist, that I am giving the boot to:

Autism can be detected as early as 18 months in children, even if your personal opinion is you can not tell as "early" as two years old. Nothing a parent does, including coddling can "cause" it. A parent being with their child 24/7 is not going to slow the child's development. If anything it will speed it up. I have fought very hard to try to get my child the help he needs. When your child is 2 1/2 years old and can not talk, or even point at something. When your child has meltdowns so severe that he starts self harming because his routine has been interrupted, when your child does not know how to kick a ball, when your child gives his stuffed tigger more eye contact in one minute, than he has ever given you in his entire life it is not a good feeling for a parent. It sucks watching other children younger than yours hit milestones, because you know your child wont hit that milestone for years. I have thought it was my fault. The first two weeks after his pediatrician gave him the MCHAT and referred us to a specialist, I blamed myself, I blamed my husband, I blamed doctors, I blamed vaccines. It is no ones fault though, least of all mine. When I think of ways I could help him achieve more than he has, my only regret is not doing more. He has come as far as he has with the help of his physical therapist, an amazing pediatrician, our family and close friends, and a literal giant box full of stuffed tiggers because without tigger, he would not try nearly half the stuff he attempts. So no, he is not delayed because I coddle him. I do not need a pretentious prick to make me feel like I am ruining my childs life by being there for him. And if this was your way of trying to get me to leave the house for some 'me time' it failed miserably. And telling me that going to the Parents of Newborns club would be good for me and they could help with my questions? I know you know my children's ages, you made a big show of writing them down on your damned pad of paper, unless you are doodling instead, something I would not doubt. I sincerely hope they make you take a sensitivity class.I do not really think this is what he had in mind when he told me to write it out when I feel angry, but hey, I am doing my exercises. Plenty of deep breathing too. Here is to hoping I can find a way better therapist.