Day four is list ten things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could and day five is what are five things that make you most happy right now.
Starting with day four. 16 was hard. My 16th year started out pretty easy, my biggest worry was boys and school. About halfway through my 16th year, my younger brother was killed. I do not have a list of ten things to tell my 16 year old self, just five. Number one, do not take any time with your family for granted, everything is about to change. Number two, I know it hurts, but holding it in and pretending you are fine because you have to be an adult so your parents can grieve is not the way to go about it. You will not get your mom back until after you have your first kid. Waiting for her heart to heal and to realize that she still has living kids is going to take a while. Do not be angry with her. See that therapist your mom is seeing. Number three, you can not change your brothers death, but you can change your last words to him before he leaves the house that day. Do so. Number four, I know you are really wanting to lean on your boyfriend in this time, so when he leaves you because he says you are not happy anymore, do not hate him. He is a sixteen year old boy, he has no idea how to deal with grief. Number five, when that kid in grief group tells you that your brother was killed as a test to see if you really believe in god, punch him in the face and tell him to fuck off. Yeah, your guidance counselor will be shocked, but she will life.
Day five is to list five things that make you most happy right now. First of course would be my kids. I mean look at them!
Are they not adorable? Second is my husband. Because I mean come on, do you see him? That man deals with my crazy on the daily.
Third is color runs. We have been really into doing 5k's lately and I love them. Fourth is music, because there is some tough stuff going on, and music helps. Fifth is skype, because otherwise, times like this would be harder.
Day six is the hardest thing you have ever experienced. That is pretty easy, my brothers death. Day seven is my dream job. Honestly, I want to be a social worker. I know that they are underpaid and under appreciated but I do not care. I want to help save children and families.
Now on day to day life. I am doing okay. A little nervous about my Grandma. I do not see her often and did not get to when I was growing up. My mom did not like taking us to spend time with my dads side of the family when we were growing up. But still, she is my grandma, she is pretty cool honestly, which I know most people would not say about someone in their 90's, but she is. She is sick. She has pneumonia, cancer and is in the hospital again and again lately. This last stay, she did not want to wake up. I feel horrible because we were just back visiting family in June and did not get to see her. She has never met the Munchkin in person. So bare with me and my spontaneous writings, I know I am supposed to blog every day, but at this point, I think that may be pushing it with all the things on my plate. My sister is stopping through on her way to her new house. They were in SC and now they just got stationed in WA. Crazy, going from one side of the country to the other. Luckily, I am on her way there so I get to see her for almost a week! The Monster is going to be ecstatic to see his Auntie, I cannot wait!
Now on day to day life. I am doing okay. A little nervous about my Grandma. I do not see her often and did not get to when I was growing up. My mom did not like taking us to spend time with my dads side of the family when we were growing up. But still, she is my grandma, she is pretty cool honestly, which I know most people would not say about someone in their 90's, but she is. She is sick. She has pneumonia, cancer and is in the hospital again and again lately. This last stay, she did not want to wake up. I feel horrible because we were just back visiting family in June and did not get to see her. She has never met the Munchkin in person. So bare with me and my spontaneous writings, I know I am supposed to blog every day, but at this point, I think that may be pushing it with all the things on my plate. My sister is stopping through on her way to her new house. They were in SC and now they just got stationed in WA. Crazy, going from one side of the country to the other. Luckily, I am on her way there so I get to see her for almost a week! The Monster is going to be ecstatic to see his Auntie, I cannot wait!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Let me know what you think! I read all comments and love hearing your input and questions. I'll try to respond to every single comment I see.