Start at the beginning

My goal for this blog is to get all my thoughts and memories out of my head. I wish pensieves really existed, this would be so much easier. I have been using my personal facebook page but I feel like I am met with too much judgement there. I also do not want to share everything with people I have not seen or talked to in years and their mother. It is very hard to put a persons life on paper, but I will do my best to sum up mine. I am an all over the place kind of writer. I do not sit down and think out what I want it to look like, how to format it and all that jazz. I write what pops into my head. Sometimes I am funny, sometimes I am weird, other times I am depressing and angry. I do my best to live a positive life, I like being happy. I was raised a military brat. I have two boys who mean the world to me, a husband who is the best husband in the entirety of husbands. He is in the Air Force so we are stuck in North Dakota. I hate the place, but he makes it easier, as does the few friends I have. I have three friends I see up here. That may tell you how antisocial I can be! Which is silly because I love talking and participating in game nights with people. I lose my temper easily and lash out with yelling. I yell too much, I am very aware of it. I am OCD when it comes to cleaning my house and building things, so much so that my four year old is picking up on it and showing signs of it too.
I have a four year old and a two year old that I love with my whole heart and I like them most days :) I had my tubes tied over a year ago and have no regrets whatsoever. Two children is more than enough for me. I would not mind having a third child, but no way I would go through with another pregnancy. My pregnancies were not bad/traumatic, I just do not enjoy being pregnant. My husband and I will be looking into fostering/adopting a child when the kids get to be about 10 and 12. It is something I have always wanted to do. I was born in 89, so now you know my age. I have a serious hatred of sequins. They bother me on so many levels. I love eating junk food. I think I am a wonderful mother but have days where I fear I am too harsh on them, and other days when I feel as though they are getting to be spoiled monsters. I am paranoid about anything and everything when it comes to them.
My monster is my four year old. He is sweet as heck, but he loved growling when he was a baby so I call him monster sometimes. He loves playing with friends, coloring, writing, singing, dancing, playing with cars and devouring carrots faster than Bugs Bunny himself could. My munchkin is my two year old. He is a tiny bit small for his age, and his brother towers over him so we started referring to him as munchkin. He is delayed in his developments and we are in the process of getting a diagnosis of Autism. It can take months, even years to get an official diagnosis. The doctors are 98% positive that he will be diagnosed with ease come April. Until we have an official diagnosis, we are not discussing it with many people. Too much to explain at this point while we ourselves still have so many questions. He enjoys spinning in circles, playing inside his megablock castle, watching his favorite shows and cuddling with mommy and daddy. He is non verbal at this point, but we have hope he will start talking eventually.
I like to read, watch Disney movies, hike (when there is a place to hike) sleeping and baking. I do not enjoy cooking, listening to little noises such as pens tapping, whistling or anything repetitive.